OWN YOUR WORLD

Have you ever felt insecure? As if you needed others’ advise to make choices that you should have been secure of or to answer questions that you should have known the answer for?

Well, sometimes asking for help is necessary, and there’s no shame in it, but constant insecurity is a totally different ballpark.

Insecurities are the first sign that we are not fully owning our world. What do I mean by that?

I’ll give you an example: I am sure that there is something you are perfectly sure of right now. I’m sure that there is at least one answer that you know for a fact, one choice that you would make in a blink and without regret, one topic which you know all about and on which you often geek about. Well, this means you own those parts of your world. You own those in the sense that you have been there before, that you have gone through insecurities, that you have explored various paths and found the right one after many attempts, and that therefore your security comes from experience, comes from owning the truth, not from having to guess.

Now let’s consider instead topics on which you are insecure, choices that you are afraid to make. I am not talking about unexplored paths, getting out of your comfort zone. I am talking about areas of your life that you already are exploring, but not surely, not owning your truth, not knowing exactly what to do, and so somewhat walking on eggshells while you find yourself having to move within those realms. Well, if you think about it as a map of your territory, and if you think of yourself as a wild animal, why are you there if you don’t know that territory in the first place? Why are you walking in those areas without actually exploring them and are instead asking others to tell you what to do?

We should always own our own world, explore our map step after step, sniffing around, touching, feeling, testing, so that we acquire knowledge of that area before inhabiting it.

But in today’s life, and especially in abusive circumstances, such as in narcissistic abuse (relational or systemic or work related), we are dragged into certain areas, pushed to inhabit parts of our map that we haven’t fully explored and that therefore we don’t know, and we don’t own. In other words, the abusers tend to drag their victims into situations where the abuser knows what to do, but the victim doesn’t. This includes situations of systemic abuse such as making us become consumers, purchasing something we don’t need and then being unsure of how to use it, or making us become employees, and then become unsure of what it is requested of us. That’s when we become insecure, co-dependent, and we begin walking on egg shells and depending on others to know what to do. So, reality is that the reason why we are insecure and codependent is not due to our own lack of understanding, but to the fact that, due to others, we don’t own our world, we don’t know our map, we have been dragged somewhere where we don’t belong or where we didn’t want to be or that we weren’t ready for.

In many cases we are dragged somewhere thanks to gaslighting, thanks to lies that confuse us on the whole purpose of being where we are, and, so, if we don’t know the purpose, we don’t know what to do, because our actions are a function of where we want to get in the future. If we don’t know the purpose of a certain realm of our life we can’t possibly know how to use it to create the future we want.

Other times we are insecure because we have been gaslit regarding the purpose of that place, regarding how it works, and so our brain got confused, because gaslighting creates illogical narratives and therefore creates insecurities, as our logic fails at getting to the same conclusions we have been taught to believe, and therefore pushes us to ask others what to do.

So, whenever you find yourself being insecure and co-dependent, remember that you must own your world, you must own your truth, logically and by experience, in order to use it consciously to create your future. Ask yourself why you are there in the first place. Are you ready? Do you want to be there? If yes, start exploring, start your own trial and error experiment called life, start sniffing around, touching, feeling, looking, sensing. Then, make up your own mind about it, understand how that place can serve your purpose. Keep going, until you are sure of what to do, and, once you’re done, move to the next inch, and to the next, until you will own your full map, up to your highest self.

Discover how the Universe works in my book: The Fractal Universe and the theory of everything. https://www.amazon.com/Fractal-Universe-theory-everything/dp/B0BYC2NQP4